During pre-colonial times, a traditional Filipino wedding lasted for three days. It culminated with a babaylan or priest pricking the chests of both bride and groom to draw a little blood, then asking the couple to drink their blood mixed with water. As the Philippines became a predominantly Christian country, most of these ancient traditions have almost been wiped out of our shared consciousness as a people. But because of our strong family ties and spiritual devotion, church weddings still tend to incorporate elements that are unique to Pinoys.

1) It is customary for the man and his family to go to the house of his fiancee’s parents for the Pamamanhikan.  This is where the prospective groom formally asks for his intended’s hand in marriage.  The two families can also start discussing plans for the wedding, which can already cover items such as the budget and guest list.

2) In the Philippines, wedding expenses are traditionally shouldered by the groom’s family, but in light of the rising costs, it has become acceptable for both families to share in the expenses, or for the couple themselves to cover all costs.

3)  Invitations for church weddings in the Philippines usually cover both the ceremony and the reception.  For decades, including a page which lists down the names and designations of the wedding party had been de rigeur, but more and more couples are opting to drop this practice.

4)  The most popular time for weddings in the Philippines is the month of flowers and fiestas  which is May, followed by December rather than June.

5)  The groom usually arrives 30 minutes to one hour before the ceremony to receive guests.  The bride stays in the bridal car until it is time for the bridal march.

6)  The bride and groom pick older relatives, family friends, officemates or public officials to stand as their primary sponsors/godparents during their wedding.  Their role does not end after the ceremony, but it is generally understood that aside from the couple’s parents, it is the godparents to whom the newlyweds would go to if they need advice of any kind.

7)  The bride and groom choose their closest friends and relatives to stand as their bridesmaids and groomsmen.  They also designate three pairs of secondary sponsors for the candle, veil and cord ceremonies which are integral to Christian church weddings in the Philippines.

8)  At one point in the ceremony, the candle sponsors stand up to light the wedding candles which symbolize God’s presence in the union of the couple.  For Protestant ceremonies, the bride and groom take these candles and use them to light their unity candle.

The veil sponsors then pin a white tulle veil on the groom’s shoulder and over the bride’s head to symbolize the couple being clothed as one.  The cord sponsors take a cord that has been tied into a figure eight and drape it over the shoulders of the bride and groom to symbolize the infinite bond of marriage.

9)  The bride and groom exchange rings.  Afterwards, the groom hands the bride an arrhae which contains thirteen pieces of gold or silver coins.  This symbolizes the groom’s pledge of financial support to his wife and their children.  The couple may opt to assign a ring bearer and coin bearer for their processional.

10)  Aside from the cake cutting and couple’s first dance, the bride and groom may opt to release a pair of white doves during the reception to signify peace and harmony in their marriage.  Whoever catches the doves can take them home as pets. 

The  couple may choose to turn their first dance into a “money dance” and let guests pin paper money on their wedding attire.

Even after entering the new millennium, many Pinoys still follow some folk beliefs or superstitions, reasoning that they have nothing to lose if they subscribe to these.  Most of these superstitions would seem silly at first, but some do make sense when you think about it…

• The bride and groom are especially accident-prone as their wedding day approaches so it is prudent for them to avoid traveling.  (If you are consumed with worries about suppliers leaving you high and dry or petty quarrels between the MOTB and THE MOTG over the seating chart, then maybe even crossing a busy street would be dangerous for you!)
   
• Sukob or having two siblings marry in the same year will bring extreme bad luck to the family.  (Any parent who would be forced to shell out money for two weddings in less than 12 months probably won’t consider themselves lucky!)
   
• The bride should step on the groom’s foot when they are in front of the altar if she wants him to agree to her every whim.  (Let’s see how that will work if she ends up breaking his foot with her stiletto…)
   
• Throwing uncooked rice at the newlyweds during the recessional will bring them prosperity.  (But if your guests step on the rice, it may cause them to slip and fall, which isn’t a memory you’d want to associate with your wedding day!)
   
• Receiving knives or other sharp/ pointed objects as wedding gifts will lead to a broken marriage.  (Contrary to this, conflicts may arise between the newlyweds if they can’t prepare home-cooked meals together because they don’t have any cutlery!)

One superstition that might be a good idea to follow though is the one that dictates the groom should not see the bride in her wedding gown prior to the ceremony.  Seeing your groom’s face light up as he sees you for the first time in your bridal finery as you walk down the aisle would be priceless…